~ wishing....~

Since you have left my side
i have fallen down and cant recover
strength can't pick me up and
you don't love me, is what i discovered

everything that made me feel so safe before
now just seems like it has disappeared
as my stability was shattering around me
all the things i feared where then revealed

danger now has to watch its back afraid
of what may be lurking around the corner
the people i have grown up with
now to me seem like foreigners

fear makes me do the impossible
and greed is what makes me give
hope gives me nothing to believe in
and death now decides to let people live

the desire in my heart doesn't
have me wanting a single thing
and the peacefulness that surrounds me
is leaving an unbearable sting

guilt permits me to perform the same crime
and my contentment has me wishing for more
my stubbornness has me giving in and
my anger has you being the only one i adore

being abandoned makes me feel surrounded by love
this boldness in my personality makes me pull back
the agitation from this world helps me smile and
fulfillment makes me feel there is something i lack

to me the illusions are now becoming clear
my grace causes me to fall and stutter
hate makes me want to get to know you better
this emptiness makes me feel so cluttered

this sense of safety is causing me to build walls
being in a panic seems to calm me down
loyalty has now stabbed me in the back
my skill of swimming causes me to drown

the heat that is surrounding me makes me shiver
bravery is making me feel like shying away
intelligence has me saying all the wrong answers
and faithfulness is making me go astray

blindness helps me to see my way through the dark
fate is now something that is in my control
rage i have is causing me to lower my voice
and my broken heart makes me feel whole

these are just the few things i've been feeling
since you decided to leave
my world doesn't seem to make sense anymore
in anything logical i no longer believe
im afraid the only way i would get better is,
if things went back to what it was before...

~Inside Of Me~

If you could see inside my soul
see inside my heart
you would know how I long
for you whenever we're apart

If you could see inside my head
if thoughts were things to see
you would know how I cherish you
how much you mean to me

In all the ways you comfort me
the way you hold me near
the way you know just what to do
to chase away my fear

The sparkle in your beautiful eyes
your smile, laugh, your touch
are just a few of many reasons
I love you oh so much

Knowing I can talk to you about any
and everything and knowing
together we will getthrough
whatever life may bring

I could search the whole world over
and this I know is true
I would never find another love
like the love I found with you

Though with each new day, each sunrise
we can't know what's in store
there is one thing I know for sure
each day I love you more

So if you could see inside my head
if thoughts were things to see
you would know how I am blessed I feel
to have you here with me

~LOVE UNSATISFIED~

once ther was a time I thought of you as mine.
Knew it wasn't really true
as I fell in love with you.
Another shared your heart,
I knew that from the start.
You called me just a friend,
nothing more did you intend.
I kept you in my thoughts all day
and dreamed each night away.
Will these things ever leave?
Will I be given a small reprieve?
It's time to dream no more,
go back to friends as before.
To put a smile on my face,
as my tears I try to erase.
I hope that she loves you
with a heart that's always true.
I only want you to be happy......
Even thou you'll not be here.
My broken heart will mend,
forever I will call you friend.
And my love I'll try to hide,
this love forever unsatisfied.

LOVE SLIPPED AWAY

I sadly watched each day as our love just slips away..
where and why does love go slipping away in a steady flow?
Little words of love not said, uncaring words i hear instead.
The tender look i used to see, no longer do you show to me.
When i listen to "our" song, i wonder what went wrong,
can love just slowly disappear? with reason being so unclear?
Could it be only time alone, that turned your heart to stone?
whatever happened to sharing? whatever happened to caring?
where did our love slowly go.. is something i want to know

it just quietly slipped away, bringing only sadness to stay.
I long for your tender kiss, the passion we felt.. i miss..
your arms holding me tight on a cold winters night.
Your simple act of teasing, which i found so pleasing
brought joy to this heart of mine and a feeling of love so divine.
My love is here to stay, only yours has slipped away.
where oh where did it go.. that love I cherished so?
I cried those silent tears remembering those years
when you and I were one.. wondering.., is it over and done?
Can you please explain to me so i can understand and see
why your love quietly slipped away
and sadness has come to stay.

LOST IN LOVE

How can you learn to love
It is in your heart and no where else
What turns it on and off
How deep can you search for it
Where is it exactly
Please God help me to find it
And show me how to express it
Jesus please come into me.
To show love in ways I know not now
I am lost and I need to be guided
To love my kids and family
To love all mankind in Your name.
Your love for me means so much
I long to feel it and share it
My heart is open but not yet filled
There is so much room in there for more.
When my kids cries it hurts me so
It makes me feel like I have done wrong
I ache in my heart when I hear them cry
The ache I have for them is love.
Their sounds of tears are love for me
But the sound is one that I fear
Please Lord Please, come into me
And let me show them true love.

IS LIFE WORTH IT???

as i sit here in my easy chair, I ponder about my every day life
is it really worth a dime to me.. is it worth the pain and strife..??
is worth the heartaches and tears, why do we hurt the ones we love..
why are some people just cruel? why do they think they rise above..?

yes i wonder if life is worth it?! to be hurt over and over again..
to be ridiculed and put down, to feel such sorrow and shame
as i sit here looking at this screen and then an e-mail pops up from you
i know without a shadow of doubt, that i can handle all my blues.

you put a smile upon my face and love deep within my heart
i thank you for being here for me and i hope we won't ever part......

WHERE SHOULD I BE....

in the evening light,as I look up to
the heaven's above.oh, how lovely the night.
the stars sparkle ever so bright,
while visions of you dance in my mind...
thinking of the days we shared together,
will always be very special and deep within my heart
the roads we traveled are only memories in my heart
that will never fade....

i will never forget the special love we shared.
you are and will always be the one and only for me.
your spirit is with me as the days and nights go on and on.
together we shall always be...as long as there is love in heaven above.
my love come to me, if only in my dreams. for one day, we shall be together again, when God calls us to his house of love. and forever we shall be....
MY LOVE,....