~ wishing....~

Since you have left my side
i have fallen down and cant recover
strength can't pick me up and
you don't love me, is what i discovered

everything that made me feel so safe before
now just seems like it has disappeared
as my stability was shattering around me
all the things i feared where then revealed

danger now has to watch its back afraid
of what may be lurking around the corner
the people i have grown up with
now to me seem like foreigners

fear makes me do the impossible
and greed is what makes me give
hope gives me nothing to believe in
and death now decides to let people live

the desire in my heart doesn't
have me wanting a single thing
and the peacefulness that surrounds me
is leaving an unbearable sting

guilt permits me to perform the same crime
and my contentment has me wishing for more
my stubbornness has me giving in and
my anger has you being the only one i adore

being abandoned makes me feel surrounded by love
this boldness in my personality makes me pull back
the agitation from this world helps me smile and
fulfillment makes me feel there is something i lack

to me the illusions are now becoming clear
my grace causes me to fall and stutter
hate makes me want to get to know you better
this emptiness makes me feel so cluttered

this sense of safety is causing me to build walls
being in a panic seems to calm me down
loyalty has now stabbed me in the back
my skill of swimming causes me to drown

the heat that is surrounding me makes me shiver
bravery is making me feel like shying away
intelligence has me saying all the wrong answers
and faithfulness is making me go astray

blindness helps me to see my way through the dark
fate is now something that is in my control
rage i have is causing me to lower my voice
and my broken heart makes me feel whole

these are just the few things i've been feeling
since you decided to leave
my world doesn't seem to make sense anymore
in anything logical i no longer believe
im afraid the only way i would get better is,
if things went back to what it was before...